In the last couple weeks I have been struggling – which is to be expected.
Everything is to be expected – bleeding, pain, hormones, depression, tears.
I was sitting in the emergency room last week across from a room that had a beautiful baby inside, about six or seven months. She didn’t stop crying the entire time I was there – about four hours. The nurse looked at me like I was crazy.
“You’re sure you want one of those?”
Her mother was attentive, not leaving her, talking to her, trying to calm her down. The parenting had already started.
To parent is to guide,
to find Jesus and His redemption.
Successful parenting is guiding a child to heaven.
It feels like it is shredding me to pieces – but I have a child in heaven
I have not lost forever, just for now.
I am assured that at some point I’ll start to hurt less.
Right now – knowing there is a purpose to it is my comfort,
and knowing our family has grown by one is beautiful.