Keeping Me Humble

In seventh grade it was a math test I couldn’t finish.

In eighth it was formaldehyde in my hair.

And in ninth, it was a hydrochloric acid burn.

The little things that I remember make me laugh now and frustrated then, so frustrated.

Today I’m laughing because I am sitting in a doctor’s office starving and really needing to use the bathroom after boring through finals earlier today. This would not usually be extraordinary, but for once I am not here because I am having a test done or being pricked with needles.

You know how athletes have game day routines? I have test day routines. And that routine is giving me grief now.

I don’t eat the meal before my tests. The hunger stimulates my mind to work overtime, its an adaption technique that worked for years. I drink a cup of coffee because the caffeine calms me down and allows my mind to skip the adrenaline fog that hunger usually brings it along. Some people call it getting hangry (anger caused by severe hunger). Usually I take my tests and then eat and revel in the rush from finishing a test and the satisfaction of food. Like a reward.

That’s right, I bribe myself with food and use deprivation to be better.

Well, it worked and when I was done, instead of going straight to get tacos – I had to go shopping. Try on clothes, talk about size and lacy dresses, and whether it matches… I’m really really bad at fashion. My youngest sister reminds me every day… and when I want tacos it’s worse. I wanted tacos, not clothes, but we were out of time. Its sad, mom had to go to the doctor.

Plan B: I take the car and get the tacos while mom goes to the doctor. Foiled. Because the doctor’s office is in a traffic circle that is difficult to drive in with some one else looking at the blind spots. The tacos are on the other side of the traffic circle.

Plan C: Use my legs. Foiled again. Mom doesn’t want me walking in this neighborhood and if I don’t eat for much longer I may not be able to use them. The last thing I ate was ice cream and a salad last night.

Plan D: Find a bathroom because the coffee has been running through my empty system and is now crying to get out. So, I run inside to find a bathroom in the office where my mom had an appointment, but since I didn’t have an appointment in any of the offices, I was told I couldn’t use the bathroom.

So I got relegated all the way down to Plan E: Sit and mooch off of their internet watching Netflix and writing blogposts about being arrogant and having to use the bathroom.

-W

 

 

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