Just when you think that you are done learning the lessons an experience has to offer another comes.
After leaving my grandmother’s house last week I moved around Texas visiting grandparent, second cousins, and great aunts. One of my aunts is exceedingly generous and gives to the point that I can’t keep up. I am inundated with things I never imagined. As a work oriented person, this can be more of a challenge than figuring out medicine, hospice, and school because I start to feel guilty for taking. I don’t know what to do with it all and I don’t want to say no. She genuinely loves to give which is how she shows her love.
I never noticed how much she gave in the past when my family was here. There are enough of us that she doesn’t focus for very long on one person, but she does give increasingly thoughtful and loving gift. Now it is just me and while I could fade into the background while my family was around, I am the center of attention now.
I arrived on Saturday to a shelf full of gluten free sweets, just cause she had fun in the allergy free aisle. Sunday, she took my cousin and I to the spa. Monday she let me sleep all day because I was recovering from the last month. Tuesday, she gave a luncheon for me and today she took me to mail packages and get our hair cut.
I am not used to this kind of generosity and focus, but she is one of the sweetest older women I know. She even let me drive her brand new Cadillac. Honestly, I have been trying to figure out a way to give back a little to her. She keeps telling me she just likes having me around, but in my opinion that’s not enough.
My grandmother, her sister, died almost eight years ago while under the care of a wonderful godly woman named Judy. Judy is one of the most down to earth people you will ever meet and loves Jesus so much. After my Mimi’s death she started working for my aunt, so I was happy to spend time with her for the last several days as well. Judy and I were sitting in the car after my aunt had handed me some money to go mail some of my packages. In frustration over my inadequate ability to pay her back I objected again, “I will never be able to pay her back. I can’t take all of this.”
Judy turned around in her seat, “Miss W, You aren’t taking anything. You are receiving. You need to learn the difference. If you can accept the love of Christ in your heart which is difficult for us all to do, then you can accept the love of your aunt when she wants to give you some money.”
Then I realized, yet again, my pride had reared its hideous head. Its good to work hard, but it makes it more difficult to accept something you didn’t work for.
Yet again, I’m learning.