I enjoyed two hours of uninterrupted quiet time, from 3 am to 5 am. It was wonderful and made the insomnia a little less frustrating. I love being up early, but three am is a little untimely when I know I’ll have to be up until at least eleven tonight for different breathing treatments and medicines for my grandmother. I’m typically early riser. I go through phases when I sleep past eight, but that is usually because I am not spending my time wisely. The purpose of discussing my sleeping habits is not to beg for advise or anything. Its probably stress…
The thing is, normally, even when I am up at five, I am haunted by this pressure to rush and hurry through my day because I either need to get ahead or catch up. It’s awful and according to my best friend I carry all the tension in my shoulders. Getting up that early was oddly relaxing. No pressure, no desperate lunge for my Bible and running shoes just me and the Psalms.
I tried to go back to sleep, but I was wide awake. I started running through my todo list for the day, but I realized quickly that it was just getting me worked up about grocery lists, cleaning, visitors, and four hour albuterol treatments. I sat for a minute and tried to think of nothing, so I started praying for my friends and family. Usually after about fifteen minutes I drift off, not something to be proud of.
I started running through Bible verses and Psalm 1 came to mind,
How blessed is the man who does not walk in the council of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers,
But his delight is in the law of the Lord
And in that law he meditates, day and night.
For he is like a tree firmly planted by streams of water
which yields its fruit in it’s season,
whose leaf does not whither.
Whatever he does he prospers.
The wicked are not so,
They are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
The wicked will not stand in the judgement,
Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked shall fail.
I thought it through, took it a part and considered each phrase, saw it in my mind, and reflected n that chapter for an hour. There is so much promise in it. When I finished, I realized that I had been meditating on God’s Word. Of course, I had done it before, but after weeks of trying to understand, grow in, and read God’s Word, my moment of clarity came because I couldn’t sleep.
This of course made me too excited, so I gave up trying to sleep.