You Know You’re A….

Have you noticed that many insults to humans are bird related? Strange old bird, old bat, kook, birdbrain, the sense God gave a goose, silly goose, old quack,  cuckoo, crazy as a loon, chicken… The list goes on and on and on… Well, there are many terms for crazy people, but here in my town they are called survivalists. These are the people who are sure an EMP is going to hit tomorrow, if the economy doesn’t crash today and if neither of those things happen a natural disaster will occur next week, so we should be prepared. This sounds a little farfetched, but there are tons of people who think like this – one being my mother. This post is dedicated to her.

You know you are the child of a survivalist…

-when there is enough toilet paper in the second storage room (there are three) to last a trucker strike in California.

-when your hall closet door knobs are missing because the chicken coop needed windows.

-when you have to open your freezer.. the one in the garage… and dig through the fifty pound bag of oats and twenty five pound bags of wheat  to find the meat that was in the pantry freezer all along.

-when the running family joke is, “When an EMP hits…” or “When the world comes to an end…”

-when vacation isn’t planned around summer break, but the year round garden plans, hatching times, and national/ international events trickle analysis.

-when you hear rain, freak out, and run to check the clothes line before realizing even if the clothes are wet the electricity facilities haven’t crashed yet, so you can actually use the drier.

-when after this realization you start celebrating because you don’t have to water the garden by hand today.

-when you get back from a third world country and the first thing your mom wants to know is what off grid bathrooms are like and how to hoe a raised bed.

-when a trip into town is to a population of twelve thousand and to the big city of three hundred twenty thousand.

-if your little sister runs around with a Red Rider shotgun and has a penchant for herbal concoctions like teas made out of cilantro.

-if your other sister is constantly checking different animals because as soon as the chickens are fed and watered, the cats need to get out and the dogs need something. The goats and bees are always coming or going too.

-if a night on the town for mom and dad is a date at the closest Home Depot

-if your office is an unfinished bathroom used for sprouting plants in the summer and storing off season clothes and extra toilet paper packs the rest of the time.

-when mom takes a CERT class with the Community Homesteading group.

-when mom got rid of the microwave and won’t replace the dishwasher cause we are slowly drifting off the grid.

-when food storage options get mom more excited than sprouting small seeds which is saying something.

-when the pantry is filled with huge buckets of rice, wheat, beans, barley, and oats.

-when every water bottle is analyzed for bpa

-when there is always some sort of homesteading fiasco going on, like canning or soap making, thats ends up looking like a perfect event on her blog for other homesteaders and survivalists.

-when hearing about the next ditch digging, fence raising, garden plowing, dirt hauling, or animal arrival is like hearing about just another honey do list.

-when most of the books you see around the house are on preparedness, gardening, the latest homesteading goal, or the new Joel Rosenberg talking about how the world will end.

I could go on forever I think, but the garden needs tending and the animals need checking not to mention someone has to cook tonight, but the last one is most important.

You know you are my mother’s child when the only thing that makes all this possible is my godly mother who with grace and poise gives us a godly example of diligence and discipline.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.”

Thank you, Mom.

– W

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