This can be explained in one word: Insufficient.
I am insufficient – I can’t do things. I am weak. I am helpless. Nothing would have happened this summer if it was just me working. On my own there is little more than good intentions.
Yaweh broke my heart this summer for people, for Muslim people in particular. I was completely helpless to do anything. I could see the immence need in every person’s eyes and just wanted to pull them into me and tell them they could be safe, they could have rest, there is a Savior and His salvation is sure. I saw the Muslim faith as a vaccuum sucking souls in like a role of toilet paper once one piece was caught the next followed. I could see every generation being pulled in from great grandmothers to newborn babies. It consumed their lives and loomed over them causing them to live in fear.
I was given the opportunity to pray for people and God used those prayers to open doors and move mountains.
I don’t know how to move back to a place where religion is compartmentalised to the hours between nine and noon on Sunday. This entire summer has been like God guiding the Israelites at night by a pillar of flame, but what do I do during the day when there are clouds all around me and I can’t find the pillar.
I am looking forward to several debrief books, reviewing what I have learned this summer, and a new system I sort of developed while I was overseas of praying, writing out, and journaling through Scripture. It excites me. Also I want to read more about fasting which was common in the area we were at especially since I was there during the first part of Ramadan.
So much to learn, so little time